I remember the way his eyes locked onto mine as I turned over onto my belly. The sand creeping onto our massive beach towel ticking my toes. Grass stains remained on the edges form our last trip to the national park. We had climbed for several hours and had a picnic at sunset. Gin and tonics in hand as we kicked off out shoes. Barefoot. Blissed out on the blessings of our cultivated universe. The simplicity of each phase of the journey used to be unsettling, used to feel like there was something missing, like I needed more of a challenge. What if the challenge is being. Finding truth in the way of being at one with the rhythmic vibrations emanating from Earth's core. To stop trying to become and just be- in tune. To stop trying to manipulate and find delight in the paved etchings of a life that is living, breathing, dynamic. Not a life trapped beneath society's history books with no intention of telling truth but its only intention is to sow hate and fear. We pause at the top. I remember that feeling. One without stumbling. On of peace, connection and mutual liberation. I remember because it is now. We walk in dizzying ecstasy, a dreamlike haze that's clearer than Hanoi's foggiest day.
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I'm only a few days shy of turning 30, but the essence of being 30 has been on my mind all year.
For me, this year has already brought about so much change, growth, and reflection. Graduating from just writing anything everyday, I've decided as I enter this new phase of my life, I'd like to start writing with more intention at lease for 30 days. I've compiled a list of thirty prompts to help me better reflect on who I am as a teacher, a woman, a traveller, a teacher, and a writer. I first compiled them in my bullet journal with an illustration (below) and then I created the cute graphic (above) using my favorite site at the moment, Canva. So far, I've written for eleven days and I will be posting them in no particular order on my feature page. Check out my posts and if any inspire you to write, please feel free to share them in the comments. Happy writing. P.S. I'm aware that there are 31 days in May, however, this doesn't have to match up with the date of the month. I created these to allow me to reflect on turning 30. I just happen to be turning 30 in May. Insomnia.
Those moments in the hours between early riser and night owl. The stigma wouldn't be so damning if it it produced creativity. You know how they say 'all the great minds are insane and suffer from this or that.' Perhaps, I made that up, but still, they produce in their madness. They create universes with their lyrics, weave worlds with their words, spark imagination with their brush strokes. For me, in those moments of frozen panic, I am left alone with my captor, anxiety, relentless in its hold. I'm not sure when I became aware that my anxieties were cultivated by fear. Fears as real as wondering where my next meal would come from, to imagined- everyone at my job knows that I know nothing and I'll be called in to have my credentials revoked. Fear, this seed, sometimes barely visible, yet we've been conditioned to bear it's highly visible fruit. Unseen vines slither their way into insecure minds, ripening, feeding off the suffering they are providing. Fear, I've recently begun stepping inside of it, dancing the shackles away. Embracing the fierce power residing inside of me, keeping the anxieties at bay. Freedom, I realized is on the other side of fear. P.S. This truth has been the best medicine to induce restful sleep. "So, here's to life and every joy it brings here's to life for dreamers and their dreams." the flowing melodies of Shirley Horn wafting through the comfy crevices of those mental spaces housing memories scrabble & red wine set the pace of the palaver overflowing with the magic of grandma's grace So begins the evictions of self inflictions with her there is no too great a sin So begins the oral threading of the historical philosophical quilt woven with ancestral fabrics made from uprooted ivy laced baobabs rhythms of perseverance pulsating through the walls of the NW DC home commemorating this annual date of sitting face to face triple word score bookmarks the lesson brings us back to the place fresh ground aromas reset the day a granddaughter's prayer inshallah to continue forevermore Moonlight & Mannequins
Moody mystical melancholic alley Lightly lit lane inflexibly constricting Solitary stiffness stifled stillness It moves Was that a shadow of the light or was it something more? hush now. quiet... Tiptoe tentatively through the terrifying trail Unfazed upgaze, unmatched upheaval Whirling whimsically down the wilted walkway Luminous beams bear witness to the endless sight of the bare armed mannequin upon a moonlit Monday night
Geography, Photography, Why not get into Cartography? Yoga, jogging, or maybe some doodling Whatever eases those anxieties and gets them creative juices flowing Your passion, your mission, your ultimate life’s destination Expand it, explore it, but heaven forbid don’t ignore it You’ll feel it, I promise But don’t take my word for it. Serenity, the trinity, or maybe humanity Observe your purpose by staying away from society’s circus The quiet, the silence, it’s the mindfulness science It calls you, it feels your heart yearning to sign up for classes on this journey of life long learning
oceanspray on toses and duckbutt my kitten palm trees for days and no need for mittens muay thai boxing and snorkeling these are a few of my favorite Thai things Dancing at jambay all through the night iridescent plankton are such a sight sticky rice, som tom, and mangosteen these are a few of my favorite Thai things Jungle tour boat rides with monitor lizards All the Thai people might just be wizards All dressed in black mourning the king These are a few of my favorite Thai things When its cold out There’s no sun out And I want to pout I simply remember my favorite Thai things And then I just want to sing! *In my Julie Andrews voice*
‘No words come to mind’ she said in her head Tossing and turning in her great comfy bed A poem a day is no easy task Perhaps she’d have more luck if she carried a flask She looked through her window expecting dark skies, for pollution in Hanoi was always nearby She gasped with delight as she noticed the blue and out poured the words, her mind feeling anew no natural solution to this manmade pollution until mama earth’s unforgiving revolution Education is tainted with hidden agendas Conditioning minds to consume and produce with no time for hearing the cries of our great big world’s darkening skies A rant she could feel was stewing inside brewing and boiling ready to burst out from all sides yet, who would be listening save trolls and the choir it’s too late for preaching upon this darkened hour Tis the season for slowing down our pace An era to set aside race, gender, age and birth place It’s a call upon warriors to march into place Pause and reflect, listen and hear The moment for action is tangibly near For those believing, its crystal clear Love for all life is the answer, my dear ‘What did you say’ her partner woke in a fright for she had been ranting and raving all through the night ‘Oh nothing bae’ she answered with no delay ’this poem a day might just prove that I’m cray’ Seasons change without giving their 2 weeks notice
Marked on the calendar but somehow Never quite arriving on schedule It happens when it happens The snowstorm in the middle of summer The draught during rainy season We try to plan around these Forces of Nature But get twirled around by the colors Of their unpredictable wind Yet when it all settles down The dawn breaks and sense Is made from nature's earthquakes Shattered to pieces Walls are torn down Sometimes starting over Creating new Is more impactful than Shiny new paint on Old moldy walls Twinkling, unassuming so high in the sky These interstellar balls of gas Forming outside our atmosphere Who knew theses seemingly random patterns of tiny dots in far off galaxies would leave everlasting marks on Generations, Civilizations weaving stories sparking Zodiac and mythical thoughts leading the oppressed to salvation via underground railroads There's a rhythmic vibration that can be seen Once all the dust settles from the gravitational attraction of a natural disaster A cosmic shift in one little twist as you look to your right and see your destiny shining bright Just in reach of your outstretched fingertips Oh, but what if you'd turned left? What serendipitous Alice and Wonderland trip would bring you right back around to what you've always been wishing for, always been searching for Chase no dream. Just trust the ever-flowing stream of the universe's well crafted seam This is from the August Monthly Challenge Day 9
She walked into the classroom Eyes glinting, smile wide with glee For today on her noggin was a hat shaped like a green little pea. She danced and she sang All her kids sighed 'Oh gee' She just laughed and encouraged Today let's be like me! Let's grow things and plant things See how easy it can be. All we need to do Is follow steps 1, 2, and 3 How they groaned and they moaned Until one day... WHOOPEE! By the end of the year, they had each grown their own Green Little Pea their own |
Ubuntu: I am who I am because of who we are. AuthorEsther was born in Utah, raised in Durham (Bull City), North Carolina. Over the last 6 years she has lived in 6 cities, 3 states, and 4 countries. She doesn't like traveling or anything... Archives
June 2017
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