Following Warrior Kiki's lead, the group decided to use colors as prompts for a shorter exercise in class. For my color, I chose blue. I was writing with a blue pen, so it felt fitting. When my pen ran out of ink halfway through, I picked up a black one. So I switched my color over to black. Here's what I came up with.
I fell in. I didn't dive. And I couldn't tell if what surrounded me on that descent was a body of water or in fact just the blue of your eyes. Either way, I was sinking, the light of the sky fading to a darker hue. My skin grew darker too, due to lack of oxygen. I began to tumble, bouncing this way and that, off of things like limbs, until I came in slow-motion contact with the bottom. Bottom, rock, cotton, like candy. It doesn't matter which. It's all the same when your lungs are thirsting for a necessary breath. And broken, bruised, you know you're going to drown.
Queue the funeral, if you're lucky. People who love you, dressed like shadows. You whisper in a crisp wind, "Remember me." And they feel you. Memories flood the surface of their brains, a lifetime fading now to black and gray. Suits, ties, hats and veils stained with grief line the sides of your final resting place, waving goodbye as you're lowered into the dirt, into darkness, Covered by the most ominous of cloudy skies. Directionless, you linger, longing for just one more of any of the things you'll never have again. Just the sight of it all is overwhelming. Close your eyes, one last time, lashes long and curled, wet with tears. Onto the next phase, into the void. And where once your stomach was is now a phantom rumbling of fear and loneliness. It will stay there, tied in knots, until you open your eyes again, to take in the light that shines even in the night.
Chicago-born citizen of the globe, rich in the things that really matter. Let's get weird.